Comedy Book in the Spotlight - Jokelopedia

Jokelopedia: The Biggest, Best, Silliest, Dumbest Joke Book Ever
Here is one of those books that kind of covers it all. If you like to laugh, and who does not, then this book has something for you.

Book discription;

Plus teacher jokes, food jokes, gross jokes, and why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road jokes. And a whole section of tongue twisters, specializing in the yucky. Try saying "sneaking in my creaky squeaky reeking sneakers." but the jokes are just the beginning— Jokelopedia is loaded with joke-telling tips and profiles of famously funny people, from Will Ferrell to SpongeBob SquarePants (Hey, wait—is SpongeBob really a person?)Packed with 1,700 kid-friendly jokes, tongue-twisters, riddles, and puns, this new edition of JOKELOPEDIA is the bible for incurable jokesters, class clowns, and aspiring comedians.

Here are doctor jokes, robber jokes, teacher jokes, why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road jokes. Lightbulb jokes, movie star jokes, gross-out jokes, vampire jokes, elephant jokes. The classics, fresh variations on the classics, and jokes with nothing classic about them. The guffaws are organized into categories for easy reference, and the book is sprinkled throughout with amusing facts, joke-telling pointers and tips, and informational spotlights on favorite funny people, including Mike Myers, Will Ferrell, and SpongeBob SquarePants.

Books Details

Reading level: Ages 9-12

Paperback: 278 pages
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company; 2 edition (May 24, 2006)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0761142088
ISBN-13: 978-0761142089
Dimensions: 10.8 x 8.5 x 0.7 inches

Comedy Book in the Spotlight - Comedy Comes Clean

Some people call this kind of comedy corny, but sometimes I just don't want to hear gross, offensive comedy, I'll be more in the mood for G-rated laughs.

Some details about this book;

Including a hilarious collection of quotable, laugh-out-loud humor, this book covers everything from family life to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. More than 50 voices ranging from the timeless--Bill Cosby and Bob Newhart--to the contemporary--Steven Wright and Jay Leno--to rising stars like Brad Stine and Robert G. Lee are featured.

If you like to laugh, this is a great book to pick up, and it makes a cool gift too, if you need something for someone who likes to laugh, but you don't want to offend.


Book Details

Paperback: 144 pages
Publisher: Three Rivers Press; 1st edition (August 20, 1996)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0517887363
ISBN-13: 978-0517887363
Dimensions: 7.4 x 4.2 x 0.5 inches

Want to Hear The World's Oldest Joke

When I tell old jokes I like to preface it with "this is an old one but a good one." Well researchers have found the oldest jokes of all time.

An article at Reuters.com titled World's oldest joke traced back to 1900 BC gives the full details.

A couple of the world's oldest jokes are;

... a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now southern Iraq and goes: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."

and;

A 1600 BC gag about a pharaoh, said to be King Snofru, comes second -- "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."

So it seems that even the first comics had potty humor and sex on their minds.

Puns of the Day

PUNS

Bessie stopped giving milk the other day. She's an udder failure.

The waiter won the tennis match because he was a good server.

The inventor of the door knocker won a no bell prize

Airline pilots make many friends in high places.

I was dating a Siamese twin for awhile, but as she got older I started
dating her sister behind her back.

The unruly circus driver refused to tow the lion.

Hammock: Imitation pork made of tofu

Sari: Please forgive me. I'm SARI I yelled at you.

"The iPhone must be considered the product of the year, " Tom applauded.

If athletes get athlete's foot, What do workers at Macdonald's get?
Fallen arches.

What do you get if you cross a bullet and a tree with no leaves?
A cartridge in a bare tree. (James Ertner)

Old divers never die, they just become deep-ended.

4th of July Groaners

What is a groaner you may ask. Well it is a joke that makes you groan instead of laugh.

What would you get if you crossed the first signer of the Declaration of Independence with a rooster?

John Hancock-a-doodle-doo!


What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?

Beneduck Arnold!


What did Paul Revere say at the end of his ride?

"I gotta get a softer saddle!"


What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?

The Boston Flea Party!


What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?

The Americans licked the British!


Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?

Because the horse was too heavy to carry!


Why did the British cross the Atlantic?

To get to the other tide!


What do you call a parade of German mercenaries?

A Hessian procession!


What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?

Yankee Poodle!


Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?

Yeah, it cracked me up!


OK if you read all those you have to be groaning.

Funny Observations, One Liners...

1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants? " She hit me.

4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea. . . "

6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shit head's..

11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

15. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been! "

Hurricane Chris- Ay bay bay (Spoof/ e bay bay)

eBay is going through a few problems right now, but this video is still funny.

Funny Friday Round Up

On Fridays many of my favorite bloggers post jokes and funny stories. When I started this blog what I really had in mind is saving all the good jokes that I run across.

So I thought that a cool series to start running here would be to link to a few of those Friday Funnies in other blogs.

So here goes;

Funny Joke over at Joan Perry's blog Walk this way....

Beautiful Parodies, or songs I hate myself for liking... @ SonOfWalt journal

And from my other blogs;

Friday blues Funny - Calhoun Tubbs @SqueezeMyLemon bluse blog

Friday Funny - Bullet Proff Baby

Dave Chappelle for what its worth No More Smoking Weed

This Dave Chappelle clip is very funny, but it is not for kids. Very strong language and adult situations.

Dave Chappelle for what its worth - Smoking with white ppl