Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Funny Jobs, Crazy Jobs Even

Because I went to business school back in my other life (before I retired that is) I still from time to time read the business press. I particularly enjoy This Weeks Crazy Jobs over at BusinessPundit.com.
1. Alaska: Meat Packers

I need meat packers/camp helpers for the fall moose season on the Alaska Peninsula. RT airfare paid from Anchorage.

Big biceps and tolerance for blood required. We will not be held liable for destruction caused by angry moose family members attempting to retrieve their slain kin.

2. Santa Cruz: K-9 training facility Helper

Part-time person reliable. 20 hours per week or more. Lots of cleaning and walking and moving dogs around. Also Farm animals Chicken and Birds. Must like animals and not have fear of dogs. We are a Family Dog training Facility.

Specific duties: Let dogs out. Scoop poop. Walk to dumpster to dispose of poop. Let dogs back in. Shovel chicken turds. Repeat.

3. Wasilla: Hay Stacking

We will be picking up hay out of the fields and need good strong help. This will be the week of Monday Aug. 4th. Pls. email.

Needles not included.

4. The World: Security+, Hacker, only the best

I need only the best in the world.

Do you get paid peanuts?
Make over 7 figures in 7 months!
Can you hack ?
Can you beat a hacker at his game ?

If you know the best a fee will be yours!

Note: Fee derived from hacked credit card numbers. We do not insure you against arrest, but we guarantee notoriety among 14-year-olds.

5. NYC: Loving Couple Seeks Model Actress for Egg Donation, High Compensation

I am one of the luckiest men in the world! I am with a woman who is a deep soul, a stunning beauty and I adore her; nothing would make me prouder or us happier than to have a family.

We are both professionals, are financially stable, extremely comfortable; we lead a healthy and active life; we give back to the community however we can.

Our ideal donor is perhaps a model or an actress and must be as follows:

Tall: 5′8 minimum and thin;
Blond or Light Brown Hair, Blue Eyes;
College Educated;
Healthy Family and Healthy Lifestyle;
Creative or Musical Talents (proven artistic ability).

We realize that all egg donors are beautiful of heart but we can only consider those donors who are beautiful both inside and out.

High Compensation offered.

We only accept egg donors whose ovaries are located very near to the surface of their skin.
And people wonder why I blog for a living. LOL!!! Can't you just see me up in Alaska packing moose for a living. NOT, brrrrr, I hate the cold, that is why I live in Southern California.

Not sure why, but I find the below video too funny. Do I really need to follow my resume around the world??? I mean if I am going to be a dog poop scooper, do I really care who reads my resume.
The ResumeBear Resume Delivery System


They have got to keep the people who think of this stuff away from the "coffee machine" or what ever it is that is causing them to trip that hard.

2 comments:

JD and Lucy said...

If I had to pick one word in that post which was the funniest, it'd have to be ''Repeat''. It probably won't be as funny to anyone who gets that job, though.

~JD

Fitzgerald said...

Yes, it is that word "repeat" that make most jobs suck. I remember the shock I experienced after I left the military and had to work in a cubicle for the first time. Every thing repeated, over and over again. It was like groundhog day, stuffed inside a deja vu.